EPISODE 2
Am trying to have my morning devotion and this lousy girl
won’t let me be… sorry am not supposed
to curse, especially while praying (Lord
forgive me) … but this girl, aargh… with her stu… annoying music… too loud for
the morning! (Finally I managed to put myself together and finish my prayer) …
amen!
Excuse me; “don’t
you think that music you are playing is too loud for the morning?” I said, “ehm... No, I can play whatever I like with my
music player” she replied, well you are wrong sister, some of us like to have
our quiet time, communing with our God when we wake up, remember you have roommates…
OK am sorry… I don’t even know your name…
but I know yours, you are I.j right? Yea (replying in a surprised tone), well
am Sheila, roomy.
Babe, what’s your
name? (I.j now referring to the third girl sitting on a bed across the room) “Am
Yvonne and your name please?” she said (I.j, now wondering if this girl, called
Yvonne didn't hear Sheila call her name) Am I.j, then Yvonne said in a sarcastic
tone, yes I remember, your name is Ijeoma, I.j for short, now teasing I.j by trying
to mimic Igbo accent, I.j made an angry face, Yvonne turned everything to a
joke by apologizing on d joke on her accent and laughing at the same time, I.j
argued that she didn't have an accent, “well you don’t I.j… for short” said
Sheila and all three girls joined in the
laughter.
Yvonne (walking on the school slabs leading to the
cafeteria)… my God! Who is that girl walking like a crayfish in heels… Is it by
force to wear heels? Na wa o… This is hilarious... is she waving at me? Nah, it’s
someone behind me, but now she’s pointing and waving, looking straight at me…
seems like this funny girl knows me, let me turn around towards another direction,
so it would look like I didn’t know her gesture was towards me, before she
comes any closer… but then I heard my name, Yvonne, Yvonne, oh my! I hope no
one knows me around here… Yvonne it’s me, I.j, your roomy… Oh! Hi dear; I didn’t
notice it was you from afar… probably because of the heels, do you like them on
me? Ye..yes (I couldn’t say no… don’t judge me),” thank you” she said in a very
happy tone. I just bought them, didn’t you
notice that all the big girls in school are on high heels? Even my step has
changed, I feel more like a Unilag babe, see everyone is looking at me, because
them self they feel my swag… (in Yvonne’s mind) Oh Lord! Am dying of shame and I
can’t even laugh, please help me)… and an inspiration came… I will see you
later girl, I have to be in class now… “but I thought you were going to eat “says
I.j, no oh, I just came to look around for one of my course mates, but am so
tired, I guess I would just go back to class and wait for him there, so we can
have the group discussion… hmmm group discussion with just one guy, tell me
about it… (see this chic oh, isn’t she catching the vibe at all?...)… Yvonne, now
laughing out, said “ciao dear, see you in the room I.j”, then she turned her
back and walked away.
This lousy girl again, does she need to shout and stamp her
feet because she’s trying to sing and dance p-square’s personally? I can hear her
coming from the distance… let me quickly pretend to be sleeping before she
enters the room. Yvonne, Yvonne, wake up ( this girl no get manners at all o,
waking someone from sleep… ehnn my supposed sleep, it had better be important)
yes…s, I answered in a fake sleepy voice, what is it? Didn’t anyone cook
anything? (no no, she did not just wake me up to ask if I cooked? Are my provisions
for me and her?) why did you ask if anyone cooked, I.j did you send us message?
Yvonne don’t talk like that now, I was just asking because am hungry. Hmm, well
I didn’t cook and I don’t know if Sheila did, I didn’t meet anyone when I came
back. Babe you harsh o, but it’s ok, no course for alarm. “So how was your day?”
Yvonne asked I.j, trying to clear the air, e make sense wella, I gather enough
control number… control number? Yvonne asked, but as she was about to explain,
Sheila stepped into the room, hi girls, am so tired, had a hectic day, “sorry
dear” Yvonne chipped in… that reminds me, I.j you were narrating your day, “yes”
said I.j, but the important part is that, I found out today that there would be
a welcoming party, this night for Jambites and we are all going to be there, “why?”
said Yvonne, “not happening with me, I have heard a lot of bad things happen at
parties like this” said Sheila. Nothing bad happens, Sheila and why? Because we
need to mingle, that’s why I bought two
bottles of wine to loosen us up before the big party, so we could have fun. “Am
not having any of that neither am I going to any party” said Sheila, besides I have
never drank before, “neither have I” said the other two girls, at the same
time, “so wetin go happen now” said I.j, “then it makes it more fun, there’s a
first time for everything, even if we aren’t going to the party, lets drink
together” said Yvonne… besides I checked the alcohol content and its just
30%... pour the wine! Sheila said (at least that was the last thing they
remembered)
“My head aches so much” Yvonne said, complaining as she woke
up, removing a green bowl from her head, and what time is it, she thought, why isn’t
anyone replying? She reached out for her time piece to check the time, and it
was 11.am in the morning, thinking her alarm clock was bad, she reached out for
her phone on the bed and it said the same, but she tried to get up and saw a girl
almost naked on her body, with a bucket on the head, covering the person’s face…
she screamed, waking up Sheila on the floor and the other girl with the bucket
screaming and hitting the bucket of her head, it was I.j with the bucket on her
head, but what was she doing on my bed? I started screaming more pretending
like I didn’t know what I was doing, kicked I.j out of my bed, now the three of
us started screaming together, after looking around us, seeing empty bottles of
alcohol and used condom packs on the floor! What happened here, was the
expression on our faces? But no one could answer… aaargh!
... Till next time on Campus Rookies
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